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I had always heard your entire life flashes
in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one
second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of
time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching
falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined our
street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like
paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird...
And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty
pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when
there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it
all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's
about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold
on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel
anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little
life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't
worry... you will someday.
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